Loneliness would not be so bad if only you had someone to share it with. 🙂
Do you remember that special moment? The one you wanted to share with your dearest or perhaps with everyone – but only you were there and then. No matter how you try, you’ll realize that it is impossible to share this “post-experience”.
That’s what this mountaineering interest is to me. A lonely interest. For better. For worse.
I am a typical loner (the born egoist as my wife would put is). I am no worshiper of crowds nor of consensus. If I feel like going to the right, I want to be able to go right. Maybe that’s why I’m doing this – walking/climbing up various hills and mountains – the interest of the lonely. I love the freedom that this entails, I like that there is an absolute goal, I like (pretty much) to torture myself physically and mentally. I love the reward I receive in the form of natural scenery and, not forgetting, especially the reward I get the times I make it to the top.
The ”worse” part is that I do not share this with anyone – I have no one to walk beside me in the City Hill with a backpack full of filled PET bottles encouraging me and sweating with me. No one who pushes me to take one more turn before I go home. It is sometimes hard to motivate myself. -Come on Janne! doesn’t really make it when I say it to myself 🙂
My friends are appalled at discovering that I am one of those people who completely voluntary considers to poop in a plastic bag (for several days) to experience the mountain – or for that matter just walk in, precisely, the nearest City Hill up and down.
Maybe we are a rare breed – or maybe I just have more normal friends than others of my kind 🙂 I can only conclude that it sometimes feels very lonely and sometimes a little sad, too.
If anything that is life.
